


We are on two sides of the same coin (But I'll still protect you)

by itsjustnoise



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 08:09:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18384431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsjustnoise/pseuds/itsjustnoise
Summary: Hyejoo wonders if she really is Chaewon's 'Angel'.





	We are on two sides of the same coin (But I'll still protect you)

Ever since she was young, Park Chaewon was accident-prone. When she was 7 months old, she had attempted to climb out of her cot because she had heard her father come home. Her foot had gotten tangled in her blankets and it was only by sheer luck that she did not dislocate any of her joints from the impact of her fall. Then, when she was 5, she had been racing her older sister through the neighborhood streets on her new bike when the gear chains caught a stick and her wheels had snapped it. The resulting inertia had caused the sharp wood to fly upwards, narrowly missing her right eye. A miracle, her father had whispered into her hair when he thought she was asleep. But the long scar that ran up the side of her head never failed to remind her that in a the span of a heartbeat, something had flicked the stick away. She was sure that her eyes were gone for good.

On the first day elementary school, she had been playing on the swings with a girl, Jeon Heejin. Heejin, who always wanted to know how it felt like to fly. They had a competition, who could swing higher. And the tips of Chaewon's sneakers were just toe-ing the edge of the white clouds when there had been a soft 'chink' and suddenly, Chaewon was soaring through the air. Strangely, she was not scared, not when she finally knew how it felt like to fly, not when the sky had been a comforting azure speckled with golden drops of sunbeam. That was all she saw before warm arms held her and all she could smell were freshly sliced blood plums. Then, there was a piercing scream and Chaewon blinked. And she hit the sand, her breath leaving her lungs all at once in a pained gasp. She blinked again, there was a flash of something silver from the corner of her eye before all she could suddenly see was Heejin's teary face and then her teacher's concerned expression as she was helped to her feet. There were no broken bones, only a small bruise on the bottom of her spine.

Who are you?

Heejin had met her outside the nurse office, too guilty to even look her in the eyes as she stammered her apologies to her new shoes scuffed from the sand. "It's okay, I'm okay. You have nothing to be sorry for." Chaewon had smiled, hand reaching up to rub at her scar, she did it when she did not know what to do, it calmed her down somehow. "But, I'm still so sorry!" Heejin had babbled into her hands and Chaewon had sighed. "Hey, wanna go get ice cream then? You can buy mine if you feel bad." Heejin had hiccuped and nodded shyly. This was the first day Jeon Heejin and Park Chaewon became best friends.

 

Fast foward to high school, where Chaewon and Heejin had stuck to each other like glue, staying best friends despite their different intrests. There had been a series of mishaps because what was Chaewon without getting involved in an accident or two in her school life. Or six. She had accidentally exploded a beaker in her face during Chemistry lab, tripped over the bleachers when she had been rushing for a class, walked into a door twice because she had been deeply engrossed in a book, accidentally slammed a floorball stick into an unsuspecting classmate's face in her excitement and slipped down the stairs during her high school entrance ceremony. Needless to say, the entire student population of Haneul High knew who she was. "I don't know how you are still alive to be very honest, Wonnie." Heejin had mused over lunch one day. They were sitting on the school's rooftop, leaning on the water tank, hidden from the full view of the principal's office in the adjacent block. "I'm not sure too, but I think I have a guardian angel." Chaewon had hummed over a mouthful of her ham sandwich.

Two girls sat on top of the water tank, invisible to all. One of them gave a sharp bark of laughter, so unlike the yellow cat mask that sat askew on the side of her head. "She thinks you're an angel, Hye. Oh Gods, this is hilarious!" The sullen girl next to her huffs, full cheeks blushing a dark red underneath her grey wolf mask. "Shut up Hyunjin, yours doesn't even know you exist." They were interrupted by the bell and the two girls watched Chaewon and Heejin stuff their food into their mouths, Hyunjin smiling softly at her charge while the other one merely inclined her head. As the rooftop door swung close behind them, Hyunjin nudged her friend," Aren't you gonna go make sure she doesn't break an ankle on the way down, Angel?" And her friend merely rolls her eyes and disappears. "Hey! I was just messing with you, Hyejoo!"

Since young, Park Chaewon was accident-prone, she trusted too easily and wore her heart on her sleeve. The first time Hyejoo truely felt powerless was when she had stood next to a nervous Chaewon, unseen and unheard, on a warm summer afternoon. It was a third-year, the president of the council, Hyejoo can't remember her name, but Chaewon had admired her since the start of school. What Hyejoo can remember though, was that Chaewon loved her for her confidence and authority, something she lacked in heaps and volumes. Chaewon had been writing this letter for days, scribbling into her notebook deep into the night with Hyejoo perched on the edge of her bed, a small downturn on the corner of bow-shaped lips. Then, the bell rang and both of them snapped to attention, Chaewon stopping her sparodic mutterings and Hyejoo focussing her dark narrowed eyes at the door to the classroom. It slid open and a gaggle of students exited, Chaewon's senior among them. Hyejoo watched as Chaewon closed her eyes and take a deep breath to steady herself. Only to open them again to see another senior, the vice-president, skip up to her and kiss her lightly on the cheek. The letter was crumpled and Hyejoo crossed her arms around herself, locking her wrist underneath her arms, lest she knock that third year's world from under her feet. She had told Hyunjin though and magically, Heejin ended up at Chaewon's window at midnight. Hyejoo could only sigh as Chaewon cried louder into Heejin's shoulder.

The second time was during a basketball match and Heejin had dragged Chaewon to go support her older brother. Hyejoo had pretended to ignore Hyunjin's dark glower when number 7 ran up into the court and coughed over a quiet ,"Fucking show off," when the boy winked in their general direction. Heejin had been squealling about 'Hansol-oppa' for weeks now, Chaewon guessed that she was just here so Heejin didn't look so awkward and alone, so she sighed and leaned back into the plastic chair. Hyejoo shook her head and shifted closer to Chaewon when she suddenly sees how she stiffens up, following her line of sight to a preppy cheerleader. And the cheerleader catches Chaewon's eyes and smiles. Oh. Hyejoo knows this girl. She is in Chaewon's biology class, sits diagonally from Chaewon's seat and always, always, flashes that blinding smile in her direction whenever their eyes meet. And whenever their eyes do meet, Chaewon flushes this light pink that causes Hyejoo's heart to thump uncomfortably in her chest. Her name was Park Junghyun but everyone knew her as Xiyeon. Heejin was still squealling about her Hansol-oppa, Hyunjin was still glaring daggers at him through the slits of her mask and Chaewon was blushing this pretty rose pink even when Xiyeon had already turned away. Despite the roar of the stadium, Hyejoo's stomach lurches uncomfortably and she briefly wonders if the ley lines were expriencing a disturbance.

The third time was at their graduation party. Practically the entire school was squeezed into the crowded gymnasium, Hyejoo felt her nose itch from the stink of sweat on the dancefloor. The teachers were either gone or somewhere else, (again she and Hyunjin had both pretended not to see how the Principal and PE Head had both left within 5 minutes of the other) and someone had spiked the punch. That took a lot of balls, Hyejoo had to give props to whoever it was. Because Chaewon had drunk almost four cups of the punch and Hyejoo was honestly getting worried. Because that beefy jock from rugby who had been eyeing Chaewon since the party started was getting closer to where she was dancing with her friends. Because Hyejoo knew that Chaewon would be too drunk to say no.

You cannot interfere with their lives.

So she watches, biting her lips raw, till she tastes the metallic tang of iron and copper, as that boy gets closer still. Until they are practically rubbing at each other through their clothes. Chaewon had grown into a beauty, with large doe-eyes, a soft lilting voice and bleached her hair a golden blonde over the holidays. She had both the brains and body, anyone with eyes could see that. But all that boy wanted, all he saw her as, was another conquest, another trophy. And Hyejoo felt her blood boil in her veins. The lights flickered and the music started skipping, causing the crowd to shift angrily. The lights flickered again because she saw how the boy's hands were going lower and lower and how dare he touch her Chaewon and- "Hyejoo!" There was a hand on her arm, a scream from her left and the boy just coincidentally stumbles backwards when the crowd surges and he falls right into a fight that started out of the blue. Heejin appears through her crimson-filled haze and she sees how she holds Chaewon in a sure grip. The hand on her arm mirrors this and she sees sadness reflected in Hyunjin's brown eyes. They leave immediately. Later on, both Hyejoo and Hyunjin will sit on the balcony rails of Heejin's room, both their charges sound asleep behind them, safe and sound. Hyunjin will glance sideways and see the blood specks on Hyejoo's white shirt. "I think you'll be protecting her from a lot more then just bloody lips and a fractured femur, Hye." Hyunjin will murmur into soft black hair smelling of blood plums. "Shut up, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin was right (as usual, but Hyejoo would rather skip around in pigtails and a lollipop then admit that). Both Chaewon and Heejin got accepted into different universities after high school. So Chaewon saw her best friend less, likewise Hyejoo saw her bestfriend less (again, she would rather jump into a pool of eels and scorpions then admit this too). But that was never a problem for Hyejoo, she could always feel the yellow energy from her annoying cat friend no matter where they were. Then one day, the energy just disappears and Hyejoo panics. The last time she saw Hyunjin, the girl looked paler than usual. But Hyejoo's oldest friend had always been pale, so she chalked it up to a disturbance in the ley lines and resumed their banter as they walked behind their charges. She waits till night time, when Chaewon is happily settled into bed and sound asleep when she melts into the shadows to track down Hyunjin. She finds her on the top of the clock tower in Heejin's university campus. "Hyunjin, what the fuck is happening?" Hyunjin laughs, but it is so weak, Hyejoo isn't even sure if she can call it 'laughter' at all. She thinks back to when Hyunjin would bark out her laughter just to annoy her. Horror courses through Hyejoo when she sees her friend raise one hand to wave her over, sees the night sky and its million stars through the hand that was raised to wave her over. "Fancy seeing you here." Hyejoo collapses next to Hyunjin, color draining from her face. "You interfered?" And for once, the smile that is always Hyunjin's face drops, she doesn't answer. "Your energy is yellow, it means happiness and endurance for God's sake! You can't give up here! What happen to your forever and always and positive rubbish, you shit?" Don't leave me here alone. "She kept getting her heart broken, Hye. I couldn't take it, I can't! Not when she deserves the world, when she deserves a hundred times what she has been getting in this shitty plane of existence." "So you would give yourself." Hyejoo's voice was quiet, low and accepting, because the both of them were stubborn creatures who understood each other the best. "Yellow also means cowardice, Hyejoo."

Hyunjin was right, she did have to protect Chaewon from more than bloody lips and fractured femurs. She had to protect Chaewon from herself. Because if she disappeared, who was going to protect Chaewon? Park Chaewon, the girl who was accident-prone, who wore her heart on her sleeve and gave so much more then she received? Easier said than done. Even now, Hyejoo hears Hyunjin's voice laughing at her from the deepest parts of her memories. "You've always had the heat of a thousand suns coursing through your veins. I cannot imagine you loving her with any less passion then you are able to wholly give her." Hyunjin vanishes just a week after their confrontation on the roof, Hyejoo hears a 'It's been a good run Hye' in the upbeat teasing tone that she missed so much before she feels the familiar yellow energy dissipate into the midnight breeze. Hyejoo finds the cat mask by Heejin's bedside, the girl sleeping with a small wrinkle in between her eyes. Hyejoo feels a teardrop slide down her cheek as she reaches out to smooth the crease, it felt like something Hyunjin would have done. She keeps Hyunjin's cat mask on the back of her neck, touches it like how Chaewon touches her scar. It reminds her to keep her distance. Which she is determined to do now that she has seen what could happen if she interferes with the life of the charge. And Chaewon needed her, she would be damned if she let her down now.

Keeping her distance was easy, Chaewon seemed more careful this days. Hyejoo wonders if it was because she was growing up, maturing slowly before her very eyes. Nothing serious happened, the worst would forever be when she flew from the swings. Hyejoo had never felt such fear. Until something did. The sky had been overcast with the promise of rain and Chaewon had been rushing to get to Heejin's favorite bakery because her best friend had been feeling down lately, but she didn't know why. Hyejoo knew why (her hand reaches up to feel the smooth ceramic of the cat mask, Hyunjin barks from somewhere in her memory), and she almost misses the car that skids the corner. It comes closer and closer to Chaewon who is still rummaging her bag for her umbrella and Hyejoo, in utter desperation, shoves Chaewon forwards. The car crashes into the post box that she magically ends up in front of. Chaewon blinks and Hyejoo swallows. Because for a second, she swears Chaewon was staring straight at her. Through the grey wolf mask that she never took off these days, through the walls that she built painstakingly in her black eyes. Then, the driver is climbing out of the the car, apologizing hurriedly and Chaewon blinks again, attention stolen and Hyejoo realizes that she had been holding her breath.

Chaewon gets her bread and makes it to Heejin's dormitory and the 2 best friends catch up. Hyejoo stands by the door, fingers tracing the eyes, nose, lips, whiskers of cool ceramic. They talk about everything that has happened so far in their lives, Hyejoo is pleased to find that Heejin is doing well in school, she is healthy and decided to put relationships aside till she feels that she is more mature to handle them. Hyun, you'll be so proud of her. Then the conversation drifts to Chaewon's near death experience just before she came here, Heejin gasping and tearing up. Hyejoo almost laughs, because yes, they were definitely Heejin and Chaewon. But then Chaewon says," I think I really have a guardian angel." And Hyejoo's world stops. She expects Heejin to laugh it off, but Heejin says," I think I had one too." And Hyejoo drops the mask, it falls to her feet, like her heart.

Later on at night, Hyejoo sits on Chaewon's desk as she gets ready for bed. She closes her eyes, still shaken from this afternoon's events when Chaewon suddenly speaks. "Angel?" She freezes but then remembers that Chaewon cannot possibly see her. But Chaewon is looking at her desk so is it possible that she can sense her? There's no time because she was talking again. "I know you're there. But could you like, I don't know, do something? To show me you're there?" And Hyejoo holds her breath as she stares at Chaewon in shock, the girl resolutely staring back. So she lets out a tiny breath and watches is curl around tiny candle that sits on the bedside table. The flame dances upwards, a tiny wolf and a tinier cat running around before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Chaewon's eyes are twice as huge now and she glances everywhere, that is how Hyejoo knows she cannot see her. "Thank you," She hears, whispered into nothing. "Thank you for protecting me when I was younger and now. I am so sorry for being such a hard person to take care of but you did it anyway and I- Thank you." 'Don't thank me.' Hyejoo wants to say but Chaewon cannot hear her. So she jumps off the desk and shuffles to the bed. If Chaewon felt the bed dip, she did not say anything and when she feels warm arms circle her and smells freshly sliced blood plums, she finally smiles.

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The old woman sits on the rocking chair alone as she knits peacefully, her face serene. The sky had long turned a calming orange pink hue, the air was getting colder. A nurse came out and cleared her throat,"Ready to go in, Miss Park?" Chaewon smiles and nods. The years were kind to Park Chaewon, even if she was accident-prone, trusted too easily and still wore her heart on her sleeve. Hyejoo would know, even now she still stands by her bedside, watching quietly as Chaewon is helped up onto the bed. She fluffs the pillows because that's how Chaewon likes it. Even if it wouldn't matter after tonight. The nurse bids Chaewon goodnight and exits the room, flicking off the light. Hyejoo lights up the candle she secretly keeps in the bedside drawer and the smell of blood plums fill the room. "Are you here tonight, Angel?" Chaewon whispers and the flames flickers a bright blue, green, pink, purple. Every night, ever since that fateful day in the university dormitory, Chaewom has always lit a candle and asked this question. And every night, without fail, Hyejoo will answer by playing with the flame. And every night, "I really wish I could see you."

"You can." And Chaewon gasps. Because here is her angel standing right before her. A girl in a wolf mask. She can see her. "Although, I'm not really an angel. More of a spirit." She was saying, bashfully scratching her cheek. Chaewon sits up and reaches a hand foward, realising that her skin is back to when she was 19, young, youthful and in her prime. "Am I?" The girl nods," You've passed." Chaewon stands and takes a step forward, reaching for the mask. "Can I see your face?" She sees the girl swallow before pale fingers reach up to lift the mask off her face. And for the first time in her life, Chaewon sees her angel. Full cheeks, blood red lips quirked in a sheepish smile, eyes darker than the night sky and a gentle gaze that made Chaewon feel like she was coming home, she was her home. "I can see you." She gasps and suddenly, she is 19 again in her room and on her bed, feeling her angel's arms willingly for the first time. "What's you name?" Her angel smiles and Oh, it has been a long fulfilling life but she is finally on the same side of the coin as her angel.

"It's Hyejoo."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it's been a long time since I got back to writing and oh GOD I'm rusty as hell... I hope you enjoy this weird thing I came up with high on flu meds wheeee.


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